Friday, February 26, 2010
thoughts
The Lord can handle my unbelief. I came to the realization the other day in the prayer room that the Lord can handle my unbelief and lack of trust in him. He is not worried that I don't believe completely all that he says will happen. I came to this conclusion because I was praying for the Lord to give me a deeper revelation of the cross (something that I have been asking for months). I was so frustrated because I have been asking to know the secrets of God's heart and to love him more. But I can't love him more unless I let him love me. Which comes back to I still can't DO anything for him to love me. He already does and he knows that I can't love him in return without first receiving his love. All that to say sometimes I feel that I should be so much farther along spiritually. I should be mature by now. I have been sitting in his presence everyday for 6 hours (and 12 hours during the revival meetings every weekend) for the last two months doesn't that equate to being a mature believer? By now I am laughing at myself as I think how absurd I sound, but that's how I treat my growing sometimes. But then the Lord gently reminds me that he enjoys me right where I am and then I melt down in his arms and he loves me. I let him embrace me and tell me what he thinks about me. I fall in love all over again and at the end of the day that's all I want. To be loved and be a lover of God. It's all about love. Praise the Lord!
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
One Test
The one thing we can test God is tithing. I know because the bible says so! Malachi 3:10-12 says, "Bring the whole tithe into the storehouses, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this," says the Lord Almighty, and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it. I will prevent pests from devouring your crops, and the vines in your fields will not case their fruit," says the Lord Almighty. Then all the nations will call you blessed, for your will be a delightful land," says the Lord Almighty."
So I have decided to test the Lord in this because he knows my need. I am not writing this to ask for money just that I really want to see what the Lord will do as I give more than I think I can right now. I trust his leadership and want to depend on him for everything. I'm becoming a stranger to this world and trying to lean on my Father for everything.
So I have decided to test the Lord in this because he knows my need. I am not writing this to ask for money just that I really want to see what the Lord will do as I give more than I think I can right now. I trust his leadership and want to depend on him for everything. I'm becoming a stranger to this world and trying to lean on my Father for everything.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Chosen Ones
"Because from the beginning God chose you to be saved through sanctifying work of the Spirit and through belief in the truth."
God chooses us. It's no accident we are here. He actually thought about us before time began and chose when we would live and be created. He chose us to be sons and daughters. So in his choosing I can be confident, my hope, rests in his nature to complete the work he started in me. I have to remember that he chose me and he started this work of faith in me. He sought me out. He initiated this love. He is the pursuer of my heart. His nature is love and peace so I can rely on him to complete the transformation. "The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it." He will sanctify/purify me because of his unfailing love and faithful love. It is who he is. I know I am a daughter. I don't have an orphan spirit anymore. I have been adopted into his family and I can never be moved from there. Nothing can shake me from being found in his family and in his heart. I'm starting to realize the meaning of he sets the lonely in families. We are adopted into his family!
I just wanted to share a huge testimony of how the Lord moves at the sound of our voices. He always answers, he moves. A couple nights ago, as a night watch we prayed very intensely for a prayer meeting that was to happen in the morning in Haiti. We prayed for souls to be saved and for the church to be strengthened there. Last night at church a man the directs the Crisis Response organization here at IHOP explained that he just received news that at that prayer meeting thousands of people we saved and baptized into the family of God. I could not contain my excitement over this news. I have been praying for my family for years to be saved and sometimes I start to loose hope. But this testimony so encouraged my heart. He truly moves at the sound of our voices. He is so faithful and even though it might not be my timing when this does happen it will actually strengthen my heart more. It will be his kindness when he answers and in the best way possible. I believe it will happen and he cares so much more about them than I ever could.
God chooses us. It's no accident we are here. He actually thought about us before time began and chose when we would live and be created. He chose us to be sons and daughters. So in his choosing I can be confident, my hope, rests in his nature to complete the work he started in me. I have to remember that he chose me and he started this work of faith in me. He sought me out. He initiated this love. He is the pursuer of my heart. His nature is love and peace so I can rely on him to complete the transformation. "The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it." He will sanctify/purify me because of his unfailing love and faithful love. It is who he is. I know I am a daughter. I don't have an orphan spirit anymore. I have been adopted into his family and I can never be moved from there. Nothing can shake me from being found in his family and in his heart. I'm starting to realize the meaning of he sets the lonely in families. We are adopted into his family!
I just wanted to share a huge testimony of how the Lord moves at the sound of our voices. He always answers, he moves. A couple nights ago, as a night watch we prayed very intensely for a prayer meeting that was to happen in the morning in Haiti. We prayed for souls to be saved and for the church to be strengthened there. Last night at church a man the directs the Crisis Response organization here at IHOP explained that he just received news that at that prayer meeting thousands of people we saved and baptized into the family of God. I could not contain my excitement over this news. I have been praying for my family for years to be saved and sometimes I start to loose hope. But this testimony so encouraged my heart. He truly moves at the sound of our voices. He is so faithful and even though it might not be my timing when this does happen it will actually strengthen my heart more. It will be his kindness when he answers and in the best way possible. I believe it will happen and he cares so much more about them than I ever could.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
wisdom and revelation
This week has been crazy busy and emotional but joy filled at the same time. I just went through two days of inner healing where all my old wounds were open up so that the Lord could heal them correctly. Wow, it was painful but freeing. My heart is so open and awakened to his love.
The last few days the Holy Spirit has been moving even more through revelation of the Father's love and his pursuit for us. He is expanding my ability to hold his presence in more of it's fullness. The fullness of joy is my inheritance as a daughter. My heart is burning to know him and his full presence.
The Lord is giving me revelation of who I am as a lover of God and what he is calling me to do. O Lord, your will be done, your kingdom come. Bring more wisdom and revelation of the beauty of Jesus and the Father's love. Praise him for his jealous pursuit of our hearts!
Eph. 1:17-19
The last few days the Holy Spirit has been moving even more through revelation of the Father's love and his pursuit for us. He is expanding my ability to hold his presence in more of it's fullness. The fullness of joy is my inheritance as a daughter. My heart is burning to know him and his full presence.
The Lord is giving me revelation of who I am as a lover of God and what he is calling me to do. O Lord, your will be done, your kingdom come. Bring more wisdom and revelation of the beauty of Jesus and the Father's love. Praise him for his jealous pursuit of our hearts!
Eph. 1:17-19
Monday, February 1, 2010
Carving Out A Place
The Lord is carving out a place in me so that I might contain his glory. Meaning that everything must go. All compromise, all lies, all wounds from the past, all fears, and all self has to go. What a painful process?
I am dieing to myself...to my very sinful nature. Where I wouldn't think otherwise the Lord says to go low, and go lower. But the hardest part for me is receiving. I desire to be filled with his love, but my pride gets in the way of his love. It's actually my pride that prevents me from letting him love me. It comes down to still thinking that I have to "do," something to get love when he just wants to give it. I keep talking about this because I don't think I am the only one that struggles with this. Letting God love me is a recurrent theme. It also comes down to a lack of trust which stems from something else that I won't go into now. But I know he longs to fill me and that he is good. His leadership is perfect and he will shepherd me in the just the right way that I can understand and receive his love for me. See he knows my frame and how it works. He knows my mind and my heart-he created them. So he will do exactly what needs to be done to guide me in wisdom and revelation of his love.
All that to say I have to let him love me so that I can love him in return and be transformed into his image.
"I will let you love me
I will let you wash my feet
I will let you serve me
For it sets me free
and it causes me to love you in return"
Psalm 34:5 "Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame." I love this verse because I feel like that is what is happening through this process.
I am dieing to myself...to my very sinful nature. Where I wouldn't think otherwise the Lord says to go low, and go lower. But the hardest part for me is receiving. I desire to be filled with his love, but my pride gets in the way of his love. It's actually my pride that prevents me from letting him love me. It comes down to still thinking that I have to "do," something to get love when he just wants to give it. I keep talking about this because I don't think I am the only one that struggles with this. Letting God love me is a recurrent theme. It also comes down to a lack of trust which stems from something else that I won't go into now. But I know he longs to fill me and that he is good. His leadership is perfect and he will shepherd me in the just the right way that I can understand and receive his love for me. See he knows my frame and how it works. He knows my mind and my heart-he created them. So he will do exactly what needs to be done to guide me in wisdom and revelation of his love.
All that to say I have to let him love me so that I can love him in return and be transformed into his image.
"I will let you love me
I will let you wash my feet
I will let you serve me
For it sets me free
and it causes me to love you in return"
Psalm 34:5 "Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame." I love this verse because I feel like that is what is happening through this process.
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