For those waiting for healing or needing reminders of what God is really like read Psalm 103. Forgetting not his benefits-he forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases, who redeems my life from the pit (my own darkness of heart because of sin) and he crowns me with love and compassion. He satisfies my desires with good things so that my youth is renewed like the eagles (my resolve to keep seeking him is youthful-that I don't grow tired and weary in seeking him).
...As a Father has compassion on his children, so the Lord (my Father) has compassion on those who fear him, for he knows how I am formed (he formed me and knows my MANY weaknesses), he remembers that we are dust (my breathe is but a minute in reality).
My Father works righteousness and justice for all the oppressed. I have confidence that he will work out my faith and make me faithful, that he will vindicate me from what Satan had stolen from me in my life. For the loss and pain I have experienced in my life is not from man for I do not "struggle against flesh and blood but rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." As the Lord heals me I get justice. Every time I get to be part of some one being delivered from what is oppressing them or partaking in a baptism or make a decision to ask Jesus into their hearts (which will also bring justice for that person) or watching a miracle take place in front of my eyes that is justice and I get vindication for my pain. I gain ground against the enemy and by the grace of the Lord I am healed to the uttermost. What the enemy meant for evil he works for good. I see the kingdom break into this world and the Father make his name known. I see his justice and how he provides for me. He's a good Father. He does not withhold.
Now I didn't just come to this revelation with out a lot of time talking with the Lord and crying out to him to heal me. I have spent many hours in the prayer room pleading for him to heal me. This has not been an easy journey because when dealing with pain an easy answer doesn't come quickly. Healing is a process and a miracle is instantaneously. So healing takes time and I know that those that wait on the Lord will renew their strength. I write this as an encouragement to others and myself to keep pressing in to him who works out everything for our good.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Isaiah 54:10
"Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed says the Lord, who has compassion on you."
I have been praying for healing of my heart in a certain area for a while. Many tears have been shed because of this. I honestly don't think that I have cried this much in my life as I have in the last few days. It is NOT because of depression, but because true healing is taking place. I cry out to the Lord, the healer and ask for wholeness. I ask for his compassion and I remember that he has compassion on me. He does not look on me with disgust but with loving kindness. He says that I have no need to be afraid as I go forward because I will not suffer shame or humiliation in his hands. That I will forget the shame of my youth or remember the reproach of my widowhood (my own barrenness). He will restore my soul and as I wait for my healing I will seek him. I will seek him while he may be found. I will seek him even when I don't get what I am wanting. I will seek him while it is today because tomorrow is not promised to me. I have a good inheritance. I get his name. I get God. I win, as long as I stay faithful I win! He is my exceedingly great reward! Amen and Amen
"Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed says the Lord, who has compassion on you."
I have been praying for healing of my heart in a certain area for a while. Many tears have been shed because of this. I honestly don't think that I have cried this much in my life as I have in the last few days. It is NOT because of depression, but because true healing is taking place. I cry out to the Lord, the healer and ask for wholeness. I ask for his compassion and I remember that he has compassion on me. He does not look on me with disgust but with loving kindness. He says that I have no need to be afraid as I go forward because I will not suffer shame or humiliation in his hands. That I will forget the shame of my youth or remember the reproach of my widowhood (my own barrenness). He will restore my soul and as I wait for my healing I will seek him. I will seek him while he may be found. I will seek him even when I don't get what I am wanting. I will seek him while it is today because tomorrow is not promised to me. I have a good inheritance. I get his name. I get God. I win, as long as I stay faithful I win! He is my exceedingly great reward! Amen and Amen
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Missing the Bridegroom and the decision
"All I want is to know your heart and will you keep me here until we're one."
Things are not ok right now and they won't be until you return for your bride. Things are not ok until you come back. My heart is aching for my bridegroom, Jesus. Things are not ok, nothing will be alright until he returns for me. I'll stay here and watch for him, I'll stay here and fast for him, I'll stay here and wait for him, I'll stay here and mourn for him. At the beginning of every month, IHOP as a corporate body fasts for three days for the return of Jesus. We mourn the absence of Jesus and cry out for his return. He is coming back as a bridegroom for his bride, the body of Christ. He is coming back for a spotless and pure bride. We pray for his return, because it will actually be our prayers that usher in his return to earth. Jesus will come back and fight our enemies. He wins! For now, we mourn and groan with the Holy Spirit for his return until many sons are brought to glory.
So some of you know that I have been going back and for between staying longer and going back to Dallas. My heart has been torn in both directions. Part of me wants to stay in Kansas City forever at IHOP and the other part wants to go back to Dallas and see what the Lord does in the Dallas House of Prayer (HOZ). My prayer has been for revival to awaken in Dallas and then the whole of the U.S. I believe we are on the cusp of a great awakening in the church and where many will be saved. The Lord is not done with the U.S. All that to say I don't ever think I will have a career or a "steady" job. I have realized that is not how I was made. I am a lover of God and I want to spend all my days like Mary of Bethany pouring out my worship on Jesus. Jesus did not consider her to be wasting her time or silly. He said she choose the better thing. She sat at his feet as a disciple. The Lord has given me giftings and talents but I have realized they are probably going to be used in ways I never thought possible. Basically, when the Lord provides the funding my occupation will be a full time intercessory missionary with a mix of some things. I'm an intercessor. He created me to be like John the Baptist, a voice crying in the wilderness. He uses the weak things to glorify his name. So if that means I look crazy to the outside world then let it be. I know why I was created. I know where I belong...right in his presence. Prayer is the weakest (because anyone can do it) but the most powerful thing anyone can do. When I trust he will move on my behalf it gladdens his heart. Because I can't do anything...only he saves, only he delivers, only he heals, only he awakens hearts to his love, only he implements justice. I'm writing this because as I write I am gaining confidence in his leadership to take me back to Dallas. "His rightousness goes before me and the glory of the Lord is my rear guard." (Isaiah 58:8) I still have a month, but I'm already praying for the next season of my life. :)
Things are not ok right now and they won't be until you return for your bride. Things are not ok until you come back. My heart is aching for my bridegroom, Jesus. Things are not ok, nothing will be alright until he returns for me. I'll stay here and watch for him, I'll stay here and fast for him, I'll stay here and wait for him, I'll stay here and mourn for him. At the beginning of every month, IHOP as a corporate body fasts for three days for the return of Jesus. We mourn the absence of Jesus and cry out for his return. He is coming back as a bridegroom for his bride, the body of Christ. He is coming back for a spotless and pure bride. We pray for his return, because it will actually be our prayers that usher in his return to earth. Jesus will come back and fight our enemies. He wins! For now, we mourn and groan with the Holy Spirit for his return until many sons are brought to glory.
So some of you know that I have been going back and for between staying longer and going back to Dallas. My heart has been torn in both directions. Part of me wants to stay in Kansas City forever at IHOP and the other part wants to go back to Dallas and see what the Lord does in the Dallas House of Prayer (HOZ). My prayer has been for revival to awaken in Dallas and then the whole of the U.S. I believe we are on the cusp of a great awakening in the church and where many will be saved. The Lord is not done with the U.S. All that to say I don't ever think I will have a career or a "steady" job. I have realized that is not how I was made. I am a lover of God and I want to spend all my days like Mary of Bethany pouring out my worship on Jesus. Jesus did not consider her to be wasting her time or silly. He said she choose the better thing. She sat at his feet as a disciple. The Lord has given me giftings and talents but I have realized they are probably going to be used in ways I never thought possible. Basically, when the Lord provides the funding my occupation will be a full time intercessory missionary with a mix of some things. I'm an intercessor. He created me to be like John the Baptist, a voice crying in the wilderness. He uses the weak things to glorify his name. So if that means I look crazy to the outside world then let it be. I know why I was created. I know where I belong...right in his presence. Prayer is the weakest (because anyone can do it) but the most powerful thing anyone can do. When I trust he will move on my behalf it gladdens his heart. Because I can't do anything...only he saves, only he delivers, only he heals, only he awakens hearts to his love, only he implements justice. I'm writing this because as I write I am gaining confidence in his leadership to take me back to Dallas. "His rightousness goes before me and the glory of the Lord is my rear guard." (Isaiah 58:8) I still have a month, but I'm already praying for the next season of my life. :)
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