thoughts

The Lord can handle my unbelief. I came to the realization the other day in the prayer room that the Lord can handle my unbelief and lack of trust in him. He is not worried that I don't believe completely all that he says will happen. I came to this conclusion because I was praying for the Lord to give me a deeper revelation of the cross (something that I have been asking for months). I was so frustrated because I have been asking to know the secrets of God's heart and to love him more. But I can't love him more unless I let him love me. Which comes back to I still can't DO anything for him to love me. He already does and he knows that I can't love him in return without first receiving his love. All that to say sometimes I feel that I should be so much farther along spiritually. I should be mature by now. I have been sitting in his presence everyday for 6 hours (and 12 hours during the revival meetings every weekend) for the last two months doesn't that equate to being a mature believer? By now I am laughing at myself as I think how absurd I sound, but that's how I treat my growing sometimes. But then the Lord gently reminds me that he enjoys me right where I am and then I melt down in his arms and he loves me. I let him embrace me and tell me what he thinks about me. I fall in love all over again and at the end of the day that's all I want. To be loved and be a lover of God. It's all about love. Praise the Lord!