After much spiritual warfare and walking in what felt like fire something in my spirit has shifted. It started last Friday when I was waking up, still half way in a dream and I hear that oldies song "Reach Out I'll Be There" by the Four Tops being sung over me. Sometimes I wake up saying phrases and songs because the Lord wants to show me something. Now this oldie song doesn't sound so spiritual as first, but as I looked the song up and listened I was struck by how every word spoke right to what my heart needed to hear. It gave me such encouragement.
One of the main lines is "I'll be there with a love that will shelter you, I'll be there with a love that will see you through..." The Lord just spoke right to my little heart. I was so filled with knowing His eyes are always on me and He's never leaving me. His love will see me through till the end. He HAS me. He knows whats ahead and he totally has me covered.
Later in the day my dear roommate surprised me with a blessing/sending off party to the Upper Room with all my dear friends from Lake Highlands. It was sweet and I am still overwhelmed by their humility to serve and love on me.
I share all that because before last Friday I still had this fear of all the change and how everything was going to work out. But I walked away from Friday with might on the inside. The Lord is setting me like flint to go forward. I've burned all the bridges and all I can go is forward. I have peace and by golly, I'm excited for this new season of my life. I have less than a week of work which is bittersweet and I walk forward to do the very thing the Lord created me to do. I GET to sit at His feet and gaze on His beauty. I GET to hear what is on the heart of the Lord and pray what He tells me to pray because I'm His friend. I GET to worship Him and bless His name because He is worthy. I GET to go deeper into His heart through studying the word. I GET to pray for the sick and see them recover, pray for the demonized and see them set free, raise the dead, ya know the greater works. What joy, what sweetness that something that I have desired for such a long time is becoming a reality. Jesus is so kind. I'll keep delighting myself in the Lord because I know He is for me. Selah
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
A Familiar Friend
I've come to know a friend on this journey of the heart...longing. As the Lord draws me into His heart He has wounded me with deep, deep, deep longing. This longing is so deep that it is painful. It's not a romantic notion or the warm fuzzy feeling. It is an aching, a hunger, a "if you don't satisfy my heart I might die" type of longing. The only thing I can really somewhat equate it to is losing someone you love, it's that deep.
Longing that is described in Psalm 63, "O God, You are my God; I shall seek you earnestly; my soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You, In a dry and weary land where there is no water."
The type of longing that has made me desperate for more of Jesus. The pleasures of this world grow dim compared to the blaring void in my soul without Jesus. Lesser pleasures/other lovers just fade away as a I live reality of longing, thirsting for Jesus.
My soul craves Him, my soul literally cries, it cries to be filled by someone greater than itself. I come empty handed to Jesus day after day crying for Him to come, to come fill me, to come back and make the wrong things right. I find myself with tears as my food longing to know Him, to have more of Him, to see Him rightly, to be close to Him, and for His RETURN!
The Holy Spirit is doing a work in me that my spirit literally cries "COME LORD JESUS!" In this process it's as if at some point I know that every fiber of my being will be screaming this.
BUT, I'm beginning to see that longing is not something that needs to be fixed or healed, but it will be my friend until Jesus' steps onto this earth once again. Longing, aching, even pain, literally mourning the absence of my Beloved Jesus will be my guide until I see His face.
Longing is proof, evidence of His presence in my life. Hallelujah!
I have an anchor in my soul that Jesus is coming back for me and all the tears, all the longing will be gone. For now let the longing, the ache continue to be my friend, jealously guiding me back to the heart of Jesus.
Longing that is described in Psalm 63, "O God, You are my God; I shall seek you earnestly; my soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You, In a dry and weary land where there is no water."
The type of longing that has made me desperate for more of Jesus. The pleasures of this world grow dim compared to the blaring void in my soul without Jesus. Lesser pleasures/other lovers just fade away as a I live reality of longing, thirsting for Jesus.
My soul craves Him, my soul literally cries, it cries to be filled by someone greater than itself. I come empty handed to Jesus day after day crying for Him to come, to come fill me, to come back and make the wrong things right. I find myself with tears as my food longing to know Him, to have more of Him, to see Him rightly, to be close to Him, and for His RETURN!
The Holy Spirit is doing a work in me that my spirit literally cries "COME LORD JESUS!" In this process it's as if at some point I know that every fiber of my being will be screaming this.
BUT, I'm beginning to see that longing is not something that needs to be fixed or healed, but it will be my friend until Jesus' steps onto this earth once again. Longing, aching, even pain, literally mourning the absence of my Beloved Jesus will be my guide until I see His face.
Longing is proof, evidence of His presence in my life. Hallelujah!
I have an anchor in my soul that Jesus is coming back for me and all the tears, all the longing will be gone. For now let the longing, the ache continue to be my friend, jealously guiding me back to the heart of Jesus.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Reclaiming the blog
I decided to reclaim to this blog as I am moving into the next season of my life. I will be using this blog to tell of the happenings of the Upper Room, whats happening in the prayer room, my journey into the heart of Jesus and day to day stuff for all my partners, friends and family that are interested. I pray that this will be a place for you to connect with what the Lord is doing in Oak Lawn, give you a taste of the daily joys and trials of an intercessory missionary and share my heart. Enjoy with a cup of coffee!
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