I've come to know a friend on this journey of the heart...longing. As the Lord draws me into His heart He has wounded me with deep, deep, deep longing. This longing is so deep that it is painful. It's not a romantic notion or the warm fuzzy feeling. It is an aching, a hunger, a "if you don't satisfy my heart I might die" type of longing. The only thing I can really somewhat equate it to is losing someone you love, it's that deep.
Longing that is described in Psalm 63, "O God, You are my God; I shall seek you earnestly; my soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You, In a dry and weary land where there is no water."
The type of longing that has made me desperate for more of Jesus. The pleasures of this world grow dim compared to the blaring void in my soul without Jesus. Lesser pleasures/other lovers just fade away as a I live reality of longing, thirsting for Jesus.
My soul craves Him, my soul literally cries, it cries to be filled by someone greater than itself. I come empty handed to Jesus day after day crying for Him to come, to come fill me, to come back and make the wrong things right. I find myself with tears as my food longing to know Him, to have more of Him, to see Him rightly, to be close to Him, and for His RETURN!
The Holy Spirit is doing a work in me that my spirit literally cries "COME LORD JESUS!" In this process it's as if at some point I know that every fiber of my being will be screaming this.
BUT, I'm beginning to see that longing is not something that needs to be fixed or healed, but it will be my friend until Jesus' steps onto this earth once again. Longing, aching, even pain, literally mourning the absence of my Beloved Jesus will be my guide until I see His face.
Longing is proof, evidence of His presence in my life. Hallelujah!
I have an anchor in my soul that Jesus is coming back for me and all the tears, all the longing will be gone. For now let the longing, the ache continue to be my friend, jealously guiding me back to the heart of Jesus.
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