Missing the Bridegroom and the decision

"All I want is to know your heart and will you keep me here until we're one."
Things are not ok right now and they won't be until you return for your bride. Things are not ok until you come back. My heart is aching for my bridegroom, Jesus. Things are not ok, nothing will be alright until he returns for me. I'll stay here and watch for him, I'll stay here and fast for him, I'll stay here and wait for him, I'll stay here and mourn for him. At the beginning of every month, IHOP as a corporate body fasts for three days for the return of Jesus. We mourn the absence of Jesus and cry out for his return. He is coming back as a bridegroom for his bride, the body of Christ. He is coming back for a spotless and pure bride. We pray for his return, because it will actually be our prayers that usher in his return to earth. Jesus will come back and fight our enemies. He wins! For now, we mourn and groan with the Holy Spirit for his return until many sons are brought to glory.

So some of you know that I have been going back and for between staying longer and going back to Dallas. My heart has been torn in both directions. Part of me wants to stay in Kansas City forever at IHOP and the other part wants to go back to Dallas and see what the Lord does in the Dallas House of Prayer (HOZ). My prayer has been for revival to awaken in Dallas and then the whole of the U.S. I believe we are on the cusp of a great awakening in the church and where many will be saved. The Lord is not done with the U.S. All that to say I don't ever think I will have a career or a "steady" job. I have realized that is not how I was made. I am a lover of God and I want to spend all my days like Mary of Bethany pouring out my worship on Jesus. Jesus did not consider her to be wasting her time or silly. He said she choose the better thing. She sat at his feet as a disciple. The Lord has given me giftings and talents but I have realized they are probably going to be used in ways I never thought possible. Basically, when the Lord provides the funding my occupation will be a full time intercessory missionary with a mix of some things. I'm an intercessor. He created me to be like John the Baptist, a voice crying in the wilderness. He uses the weak things to glorify his name. So if that means I look crazy to the outside world then let it be. I know why I was created. I know where I belong...right in his presence. Prayer is the weakest (because anyone can do it) but the most powerful thing anyone can do. When I trust he will move on my behalf it gladdens his heart. Because I can't do anything...only he saves, only he delivers, only he heals, only he awakens hearts to his love, only he implements justice. I'm writing this because as I write I am gaining confidence in his leadership to take me back to Dallas. "His rightousness goes before me and the glory of the Lord is my rear guard." (Isaiah 58:8) I still have a month, but I'm already praying for the next season of my life. :)