Fear of the Lord and other thoughts

I am realizing it is truly a delight to fear the Lord. If I fear him than I am not putting anything else above him and that is actually freeing. I don't have the fear of what others think of me because I fear the Lord. I don't have to fear death because just his word holds me together, literally holds my body together. If he stopped speaking my name I would literally cease to exist. I would not die or turn into a puff of smoke I would just not be anymore. That enlightenment into his awesome power has actually made me love him more. The fear of the Lord actually makes me turn from sin to him. He loves clingy, needy people (those that are poor in spirit). When I start thinking I can beat sin by myself without asking for his help then I am actually walking farther away from him and into more sin. I have to humble myself and say "I NEED YOU JESUS!" He actually comes to me then and fills me with his love in my weakness. I don't have to strive, but let him love me. How many years have I been living under the burden that I have to make myself holy and good? I was never meant to do that. By resting in his love he actually changes me. I actually get transformed which is the cry of my heart all along. The winds have come in my life to make me realize that I NEED him, to truly cling to him.

Song of Songs says "who is this coming up from the desert leaning on her lover?"...how I hope people say that about me. That I cling to Jesus in the desert seasons of life because I know his love is better than the pleasures of this world in my weakness. Instead of getting bitter when I don't feel God's presence or when pressure comes I would cling to his name because I have experienced the passionate, fiery love of Jesus.

One more thing, as I am experiencing the Awakening I realize that he does not stop giving his love. Meaning I for some reason thought the Lord gave me a little of his love and that should be fine but he actually delights in filling my heart with love and joy. He does not tire in giving me himself. He is faithful to bring my faith into completion all because he went to the cross. He loved me to the end.