The Holy Spirit lives inside of me. The Holy Spirit lives inside of me. The Holy Spirit lives inside of me...
Once a week, interns in Fire In The Night have Connection Time with Stuart Greaves where we get to ask him any questions that we have. He is the Director of the Night Watch. He wrecked my whole world view with what he had to say last night. He said, "The kingdom of God is not a place it's a person." I actually have had this same revelation before but on a smaller level. After he said that and went on to say that all the power of God, the portion that is allotted to me, is inside of me I lost it. I actually realized that I am not alone. I couldn't contain the tears anymore. The living God of who I have felt like I need to search elsewhere to find, lives in my heart. The power of pride, false humility, lust, whatever is no comparison to the power that lives in me.
This means so many things for me. I still have to cultivate the soil in my heart, but I have access. God truly came near. This means that he has the power to change my heart because he lives in me.
Second thought, God actually gives us what we want. Meaning when I get to heaven if I live my life like I didn't want to be near Jesus then even though I am saved I probably won't be near him in the New Millennium. He might give me something else to do, but I won't see him face to face daily because he is fully human (even though he is God being human means he won't be everywhere). God actually gives us rewards for what we do on earth. I don't mean we have to strive to achieve something for him on earth, but that the way we live will reflect the type of reward he gives us (how close we are to Jesus). This actually has hit me the hardest since being here because it brings up how I have been living. I don't do "bad" things, but they don't always cultivate intimacy with Jesus or serve his heart. Oh, that I would be a lovesick worshiper. May that be my main occupation forever!
Stuart also shared a vision that another man had after he had been praying for the Lord to give him rest/sleep. This man was 38 years old at that time. This line keeps going through my head:
"I have moved through many, rested in few but I have not rested in you in 38 years."
A good word spoken.
ReplyDeleteOh girlfriend, how He is teaching you! I too came to the same understanding and fell under the same conviction as you - but praise God you wasted way fewer years than me before you got it! Just today, although knowing I'm forgiven, I was lamenting the wasted parts of my life and He reminded me, "It is not how or where or when you start the race, but how you finish." Even those workers called at the last part of the day, were still given the same pay as those who were called first. You are dead on about the reward - where we are in proximity to Him will be determined on what we sought to cultivate in our hearts on this side. The power that lives in you is sufficient to cleanse you of ALL unrighteousness - "He who began this good work in you will see it through to completion"! Press on, Sister!
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